From the perspective of traditional talk therapy models, EMDR looks a little weird.
If you have done any googling—and I know you have—you’ve probably seen videos of people moving their eyes back and forth, holding buzzing tappers, or looking intensely focused while a therapist waves their hand. It’s mysterious. And for our typical clients used to thinking their way through problems, that mystery can be pretty spooky.
You might be thinking, “Am I going to lose control?” or “Is this hypnosis?” (Spoiler: It’s not). Or, the big one: “Do I have to relive the worst day of my life while a stranger watches?”
I want to pull back the curtain today. Because while the science behind Trauma Therapy is complex, the actual experience of a session doesn’t have to be a black box. You deserve to know exactly what you’re signing up for before you ever sit in the chair.
This post is going to walk you through the experience of a session, specifically focusing on the reprocessing phase. (For an explanation of the full 8-phase framework, you can check out my guide on EMDR Therapy Explained: How It Works and What to Expect).
Here is what actually happens when we get to work.
What does EMDR therapy involve?
EMDR involves an 8-phase approach, but the part people usually ask about is the “reprocessing” (Phases 3-7). This is where the change happens. However, we never start there. We always begin with safety and preparation to ensure you are ready. You are in control of the pacing, and you can stop the session at any time.
To put it simply: We don’t just dive in.
There is a misconception that you walk in on day one, we say “hello,” and immediately plunge into your deepest pain. Let me assure you: That is not how we do this.
Think of us like sherpas. We don’t just point at Mount Everest and say, “good luck.” We check your gear. We map the route. We make sure you are acclimated to the altitude.
In the therapy room, this means we spend time in Phase 1 (Getting the lay of the land) and Phase 2 (Preparation) before we ever tackle a heavy memory. We build what we call resources—finding the things that make you feel grounded and safe.
When we do move into the reprocessing phases, please know this: You are the driver. I am just the navigator holding the GPS. If you need a break, we take a break. If you need to stop, we stop. Safety is always the priority.
What is bilateral stimulation in EMDR?
Bilateral Stimulation, also sometimes called Dual Attention Stimulus (DAS), involves stimulating the left and right sides of the brain using eye movements, audio tones, or hand-held buzzers. This taxes your working memory just enough to help you process a memory while staying grounded in the safety of the present moment.
You may hear more popular term “Bilateral Stimulation” (BLS), but in our practice, we prefer the alternative name Dual Attention Stimulus (DAS).
Here is why that matters: We are leaning on the theory of working memory. When you hold a memory in your mind, it takes up a certain amount of brainpower. When we ask you to also focus on a stimulus—like following my fingers with your eyes, or feeling buzzers vibrate in your hands—it divides your attention.
It’s kind of like trying to rub your stomach and pat your head at the same time. Your brain gets busy. Because your working memory is taxed, the emotion attached to the trauma becomes less intense. It keeps one foot in the past (the memory) and one foot firmly in the present (with your therapist, in the office).
We have options, too. It’s not just eye movements.
- Buzzies: Small tappers you hold that vibrate left and right.
- Audio Tones: Beeps that alternate in your ears through headphones.
- Mental Tasks: Doing simple math problems, spelling words, following a tapping pattern.
We tailor this to you. We activate the memory with a question, apply the DAS for a short set, and then stop to check in.
Think of it like riding a train. You are sitting in the train car watching the scenery (your memories and thoughts) go by. You don’t have to get off the train and live in the scenery; you just have to watch it pass.
What does EMDR reprocessing feel like?
Reprocessing feels different for everyone. You might experience strong emotions, physical sensations, or even random, unrelated thoughts. There is no “right” way to do it. Your only job is to notice what comes up—even if it’s weird or messy—and let your therapist know during the check-ins.
This is the part where my high-achieving clients usually ask, “How do I know if I’m doing it right?”
Here is the secret: You can’t mess this up.
During a set of DAS, your mind might wander. You might suddenly remember your grocery list. You might feel a tightness in your chest. You might feel tears welling up.
All of that is normal. When I ask, “What do you notice?” and you say, “my chest feels tight,” my answer will likely be: “Go with that.” In EMDR speak, this means focus on your chest sensation while I start the DAS again, and then let your attention go where it goes to next.
Sometimes that path looks straight, and sometimes it looks like a zigzag. Your therapist is trained and ready to help redirect when/if needed in the process, and you can trust them to that – your only responsibility is notice and report.
I do want to validate that this can be emotional work. Tears are natural. It’s not a sign that you are falling apart; it’s a sign that your system is finally releasing stress it has been holding onto (often for far too long). You feel the sadness of the memory, but because you are supported by your therapist and the safety of the present moment in the process, you’re feeling it, not drowning in it.
How do you know if EMDR is working?
You know EMDR is working when a memory that used to be distressing starts to feel distant, fuzzy, or neutral. You will also notice shifts in your daily life, like reacting less to triggers, sleeping better, or noticing that your inner critic has become much quieter.
In a session, we use a scale called SUDS (Subjective Units of Disturbance) to help us track progress with specific target we’re working on. We might start with a memory that feels like a 9 out of 10 on the distress scale. As we process, you’ll notice that number dropping. The memory doesn’t disappear—we aren’t deleting files—but the sharp edges get sanded down.
You’ll also notice a shift in what you believe about yourself. We call this the VOC (Validity of Cognition). You might move from believing something like “I’m not safe” to knowing, deep in your gut, “I survived and I am okay now.”
But the real proof is in your life outside the office.
- Maybe your boss sends a terse email, and you don’t spiral into panic
- Maybe you sleep through the night
- Maybe that inner bully finally takes a break
Heads up: You might feel what we call an “EMDR Hangover” after a session. You might be extra tired or have vivid dreams. That’s actually a good sign – it means your brain is still metabolizing the work, even after you’ve left my office.
You Don’t Have to Carry the Backpack Forever
EMDR isn’t magic, and it isn’t a quick fix. It is a process. It can be messy and tiring, kind of like a deep-tissue massage for your brain.
But it is also incredibly effective. You have been carrying that invisible backpack of past hurts for a long time. You’ve managed it well, but you are tired. You don’t have to keep carrying it alone.
If you are ready to see if this approach is right for you, we are here to help. Reach out to request an appointment, and let’s talk about how we can help you find your True North.
About the Author
Jessica Draughn is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor with over 15 years of experience supporting clients in West Des Moines, Iowa. As the founder of True North Therapy & Wellness, she specializes in providing in-person individual therapy for high-functioning adults who are feeling the weight of past trauma, anxiety, and the pressure to be “perfect.”
Jessica is Certified in EMDR by EMDRIA (the EMDR International Association), a distinction representing advanced training and expertise in trauma reprocessing. She integrates this clinical depth with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), and Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT) to help clients create a personalized roadmap for healing. She is passionate about demystifying the therapy process and helping clients move from simply surviving to truly living.