So, you’ve heard about the “eye movement” thing.
Maybe a friend mentioned it over brunch, or you saw a clip on social media where someone swore it changed their life in three sessions. Now you’re curious. But if you’re anything like the clients I usually see, you’re also a little skeptical. (which is a pretty healthy response when someone suggests waving fingers in front of your face fixes deep-seated pain).
You might be asking yourself: Is this real science? And more importantly, is it right for the specific kind of heavy I’m carrying?
I hear this question all the time. It usually comes from people who feel stuck. You might know exactly why you struggle—you’ve analyzed your past, you’ve read the books, and you understand the logic. But you still don’t feel different.
In our work with Trauma Therapy, we often meet people who are exhausted from talk therapy loops where they retell their story over and over but still feel the same panic or shame in their bodies.
This post is designed to help you figure out if you are ready for that next step. (If you want the deep dive on EMDR Therapy first, be sure to read our guide, EMDR Therapy Explained: How It Works and What to Expect.
Here is the honest breakdown of who benefits most from EMDR, and when we might decide to wait.
Who is EMDR appropriate for?
EMDR is highly effective for many clients, including people who have insight into their issues but feel emotionally or physically stuck in the past. It is ideal for those dealing with specific traumatic memories, phobias, or deep-seated negative beliefs (like “I’m not good enough”) and who are ready to feel sensations in their body rather than just analyzing thoughts.
So, what does that actually look like in real life?
We often see the best results with clients who feel like their internal alarm system is stuck in the “on” position, even when they know they are safe. You might be a great candidate for the “Green Light” list if:
- You Know the “Why,” but Can’t Change the “Feel”: This is the classic sign. You can explain exactly why you have abandonment issues. You know your childhood wasn’t your fault. Logically, you get it. But physiologically, your heart still races, your stomach drops, and you panic. EMDR bridges that gap. It helps your body catch up to what the logical parts of your brain already knows.
- You Have a Loud Inner Critic: If you walk around with a background track playing “I have to be perfect to be loved” or “I am a failure,” EMDR is fantastic. We call these core beliefs Think of them like old, corrupted software files that are slowing down your whole operating system. EMDR helps update them with more helpful, adaptive ones.
You Are Willing to Feel, Not Just Think: Talk therapy is great for processing ideas. EMDR is about processing sensations. It requires a willingness to notice what’s happening in your body without trying to shove it away immediately.
What are the pros and cons of EMDR?
The main pros of EMDR are that it often works faster than traditional talk therapy, addresses the root cause rather than just symptoms, and doesn’t require you to speak every detail of your trauma aloud. The cons are that it can be emotionally exhausting (the “EMDR hangover”) and symptoms may temporarily feel more intense before they improve.
Let’s break that down a bit more, because I believe in informed consent. You need to know what you are signing up for.
The Pros:
- Speed: While everyone is different, EMDR can often shift things in months that have been stuck for years. It’s efficient.
- Privacy: This is a big one. In EMDR, you don’t have to give me a play-by-play of the worst day of your life. You have to think about it, but you don’t necessarily have to say it all out loud. This is a huge relief for people who carry a lot of shame.
- The Root Cause: We aren’t just trimming the weeds (symptom management); we are pulling them out by the root so they don’t grow back.
The Cons:
The Messy Middle: Healing isn’t a straight line. EMDR is like shaking a snow globe—the sediment at the bottom is going to swirl around and look chaotic for a bit before it settles into a new, clear picture. You have to be willing to sit through the swirl.
Emotional Intensity and the “EMDR Hangover”: You will likely feel strong emotions during reprocessing sessions and go through multiple kleenexes worth of tears. After an especially intense EMDR session, you might feel like you just ran a marathon or need a three-hour nap. This is emotionally challenging work and you’ll need to plan for rest.
When should EMDR not be used?
EMDR should not be used as a primary treatment during active crises (like active addiction or domestic violence) or when a client lacks coping skills to handle distress. It is also generally ruled out for primarily biological conditions (like active psychosis or mania) or physical issues where eye movements could trigger pain or seizures.
I like to think of this in terms of “Yellow Lights” (Wait and Prepare) and “Red Lights” (Wrong Treatment).
The Yellow Light: Wait and Prepare Sometimes, a client comes in ready to dive into the deep end on day one, and I have to be the one that says “Slow Down.” Not because I don’t want to help, but because safety comes first.
- Active Crisis: If your life is currently in a tornado (active addiction, unsafe living situation, severe instability), we don’t want to add a snowstorm inside your head. We need to focus on stabilizing your life first.
- No “Brake Pedal”: If you are unable to calm yourself down after becoming distressed, we can’t press the gas on trauma work yet. We need to spend time building your regulation and coping skills first.
The Red Light: Hardware vs. Software Think of EMDR as a way to debug your software (memories). But if the issue is hardware (biology), EMDR won’t fix it.
- Biological Conditions: If you are dealing with active mania, psychosis, or schizophrenia, these are chemical/biological states. We need medical stabilization. Attempting deep trauma work during these states can be further destabilizing.
- Physical Health: If moving your eyes back and forth causes physical pain or triggers a seizure, we obviously won’t do it! (Though, we can sometimes use “tappers” or audio tones instead).
I tried EMDR before with a different therapist and it didn’t work. Should I try EMDR again?
Maybe. It is often worth a conversation because success relies heavily on the therapist’s experience, the pacing of the therapy, and your relationship with them. However, it is also valid if EMDR simply isn’t the right fit for you, and there are other effective treatment options available.
If you tried it and hated it (or just felt nothing), don’t lose hope. Here are a few reasons why it might be worth a “Take 2”:
- Relational Fit: Did you feel truly safe with your last therapist? Safety is the key that unlocks the brain. If you didn’t click with them, your brain likely stayed in protection mode, blocking the work.
- Rushed Preparation: Did the therapist skip straight to the eye movements? Phase 2 of EMDR is called resourcing. It’s where we build your safe place and your container. If this was rushed, EMDR can feel flooding and scary. Many “failed” EMDR cases are actually just rushed EMDR cases.
- Rigid vs. Attuned: Was the therapist reading a script like a robot, or were they tuning into your nervous system? Sometimes all that is needed is the right adaptation of the standard approach to get things moving.
But also… it’s okay if it’s a “No.” Sometimes, EMDR just isn’t the vibe. And that is okay. There is no one “right” way to heal. There are several other effective trauma treatments. Our commitment at True North is to your healing, not to a specific technique. If EMDR isn’t right for you—or if we aren’t the right clinic for the specific modality you do need—we will do our best to help you find the provider or referral who is.
The Bottom Line
It’s a process. But it’s a process often worth doing.
If you’re tired of talking about the same things and getting the same results, EMDR might be the shift you’ve been looking for. It’s not about erasing your past; it’s about taking the sting out of it so you can actually live in your present.
If you’re still unsure, that’s okay. You don’t have to know the answer before you walk through the door. That’s what we’re here to figure out together.
Ready to explore if EMDR is the right path for you? Request an appointment today to get started.
About the Author
Jessica Draughn is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC) with 15 years of experience supporting clients in West Des Moines, Iowa. As a trauma specialist dedicated to the highest standards of care, she is a Certified EMDR Therapist through the EMDR International Association (EMDRIA). Her clinical work focuses on helping adults impacted by trauma, utilizing evidence-based approaches including Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), and Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT).
At True North Therapy & Wellness, Jessica provides in-person individual therapy for adult clients. She offers a safe, grounded space for deep healing, helping individuals “unhook” from the past and move forward with clarity and confidence.